Coke Zero saves the day!!
During sunday I slept most of the entire day, becuase I forgot agian that I had changed my alarm. This time I changed it from "Nails scratching on a chalkboard" to "Thunderbolt striking a chiwawa." Even with all the zany confusion, I still had time to finish the documentary on Manitiees "The Cows of the Sea, Part 2: Why are they Named Cows of the Sea?"
Today I woke up on time becuase I remembered that I changed my alarm back to just the normal old "beep." I was starting to get angry complaints from the neighbors. I sent them some toilet paper to make them feel better. They were very nice and gave it all back to me, all over my yard! My landlord didn't like that a lot. I think he was mad he didn't get any. I gave him some of mine to make him feel better but he just yelled at me. Maybe he doesn't like Charman (is that possible???)
I got to work as normal, and sat down on the computer. Around my 79th round of Rampage, Joe walked by my office. I tried to say hi to him and then realized I had cement still on my mouth! I forgot all about it! That explaind why people kept calling me a "cement mouth." I thought it was just a new slang term or something, kinda like "dude" or "groovy".
"You are one screwed up little man," Joe said, and walked away. Joe is a funny guy.
Durring lunch break I realized that I hadn't eaten in over 2 days! This ment no hot-pockets, and no hot-pockets means no lunch, since I usually eat hot-pockets for lunch, or sometimes velveta, or sometimes pizza when it's free pizza day, or sometimes ravioli when I buy ravioli, or sometimes pancakes when I forget it's not breakfast anymore. I decided I needed to get rid of this once and for all. It was time for my trip to Speedway.
Most people have to ask thier boss to let them leave, but at my work, they don't care if I leave. This is great because sometimes I go to the amusement park or go watch a movie during work, and I still get payed the same! Joe says this is becuse I'm in customer services. So I went down to Speedway, because they always have just about anything the world has, only in one little store. I walked up to the man at the counter, whose name is Pablo. Pablo is pretty cool, but he doesn't speak English. He shouts alot at me, and sometimes it takes over an hour to buy a soda. But he is usually very helpful and not too agressive. I pointed to my cement. Lucky for me, Pablo knew just what it took to get rid of it. Where he comes from, they use it as punishment.
Pablo handed over the cure for me: Coke Zero! I smiled my best cement smile and handed him a 2 dollar bill. I pourded it in my mouth, and stood there, waiting....waiting....waiting.....almost...there............................
"FINALLY!" someone next to me yelled, holding a lottery ticket. I kept sloshing the coke around and around. I read a few magazies while I was waiting. Who knew that Britney Spears was that ugly in real life?
Eventually, that annoying cement melted away! Coke Zero saved the day! I kept the rest to clean out the toilet with.
Catch you later,
Bernard Mcarthy
Today I woke up on time becuase I remembered that I changed my alarm back to just the normal old "beep." I was starting to get angry complaints from the neighbors. I sent them some toilet paper to make them feel better. They were very nice and gave it all back to me, all over my yard! My landlord didn't like that a lot. I think he was mad he didn't get any. I gave him some of mine to make him feel better but he just yelled at me. Maybe he doesn't like Charman (is that possible???)
I got to work as normal, and sat down on the computer. Around my 79th round of Rampage, Joe walked by my office. I tried to say hi to him and then realized I had cement still on my mouth! I forgot all about it! That explaind why people kept calling me a "cement mouth." I thought it was just a new slang term or something, kinda like "dude" or "groovy".
"You are one screwed up little man," Joe said, and walked away. Joe is a funny guy.
Durring lunch break I realized that I hadn't eaten in over 2 days! This ment no hot-pockets, and no hot-pockets means no lunch, since I usually eat hot-pockets for lunch, or sometimes velveta, or sometimes pizza when it's free pizza day, or sometimes ravioli when I buy ravioli, or sometimes pancakes when I forget it's not breakfast anymore. I decided I needed to get rid of this once and for all. It was time for my trip to Speedway.
Most people have to ask thier boss to let them leave, but at my work, they don't care if I leave. This is great because sometimes I go to the amusement park or go watch a movie during work, and I still get payed the same! Joe says this is becuse I'm in customer services. So I went down to Speedway, because they always have just about anything the world has, only in one little store. I walked up to the man at the counter, whose name is Pablo. Pablo is pretty cool, but he doesn't speak English. He shouts alot at me, and sometimes it takes over an hour to buy a soda. But he is usually very helpful and not too agressive. I pointed to my cement. Lucky for me, Pablo knew just what it took to get rid of it. Where he comes from, they use it as punishment.
Pablo handed over the cure for me: Coke Zero! I smiled my best cement smile and handed him a 2 dollar bill. I pourded it in my mouth, and stood there, waiting....waiting....waiting.....almost...there............................
"FINALLY!" someone next to me yelled, holding a lottery ticket. I kept sloshing the coke around and around. I read a few magazies while I was waiting. Who knew that Britney Spears was that ugly in real life?
Eventually, that annoying cement melted away! Coke Zero saved the day! I kept the rest to clean out the toilet with.
Catch you later,
Bernard Mcarthy
| Permalink | 
